Face to Giant Face With the
2014 Mercedes-Benz S-Class

13 Jun 2013: Mercedes-Benz isn't a brand afraid to put on a show for any old reason at all - like, just because it's Tuesday - but the premiere of the 2014 S-Class, even by the standards we're used to, was Broadway-theater intense. Held at a purpose-built venue inside a hanger at the Airbus factory in Hamburg, the hours-long extravaganza was hosted by two German newscasters and guest-starred Alicia Keyes, an A380, fireworks, every model in the lineup in a choreographed driving routine while The Stig did donuts in an SLS AMG in the rain, and at the very end, burlesque. That's how much the S-Class means to this brand.

What's it going to mean to the razor's edge of the mass-market large luxury sedan market? The exterior, that's ripe for debate. But the interior - well, it just hung a sign on the segment that read, "Achtung! This, meine Damen und Herren, is how it's done."

Truth be told, we were concerned about meeting the latest conveyance of kings. We couldn't get a handle on its proportions in the photos - the homogenized face gave us pause, and the sloping rear end had us genuinely concerned that this was about to get ugly.

Turns out the car is fine. Some other introductions of late have had us worried that Mercedes is designing cars like it knows people will buy them no matter what, even if they're unattractive (SL anyone?). And they're right - the new SL will not have a problem finding new owners to please, and it is a terrific car for its class, but to our eyes the current convertible is an aesthetic step sideways and down compared to the last one. And those headlight eyebrows that are going on everything, well, let's just not get into that.

Likewise, the new S-Class should not have any trouble with sales. Even with the larger grille, it's not as assertive as the current car, a fair bit of which has to do with its rounder, silkier lines penned to chase the 0.22 coefficient of drag. Its angles go in a lot of different directions, and we still haven't settled on the design - seen from one angle at some given hour, it was like the current car was left in the sun too long, from another angle and at another hour, it was sleek and stately. The wheels have a lot to do with that as well - the personality of this particular design seems much more affected by a swap than the outgoing car.

But everyone will have something familiar to hold onto, because in overall shape and footprint, the 2014 S-Class is like the ghost of the current car slid into a new body. A Mecedes rep told us the 2014 had a new chassis and subframe, but we'd like to get more specifics on that. The 2014 has the exact wheelbase and length as the soon-to-be-retired sedan, and is only an inch wider and 0.7 inches taller. Inside, you can trace the same architectural lines along the instrument panel and the elsewhere around the cabin. It is as if they didn't make a car from scratch, but used the skeleton of the current car and designed a brand-new body and internal organs to hang on it.

Again, it's fine outside. Stand in front of the car and, yup, that larger grille is laaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrge. It will not be confused for an E-Class at anything less than a half a mile. From the side, even though the S-Class is the same length and slightly taller, it looks trimmer, probably because it isn't so bold about its rising wedge shape as the current car, so the difference between the front end and rear isn't as accentuated. As for that run from the C-pillar down to the rear lights, well, those look like lines lifted from the departed Maybach 57S. We didn't care for the exterior of the Maybach, it looks alright here.

About the Author: Mercedes-Benz of Bakersfield, 5600 Gasoline Alley Drive, Bakersfield, CA 93313, 661-847-2744, http://www.sangera.com